Doula Mel

Carrot up the bum sydrome

I want to chat about my interesting BB visit yesterday and the 19 year old girl who was sterilized.  I want to tell you about the reunion, about our 29 mothers who had their 1st ante-natal class yesterday and all sorts of things but I am in pain!

Oh woe is me, I have pinched some kind of nerve in my lower back and my body is so stiff from trying to walk in such a way as to protect it.   I am doing that slow 'carrot-up-the-bum' walk.  More like a butternut up my bum actually.  Obviously this has meant no gym at all and I am atrophying as we speak!  I think it must have been the beach sand I lugged for my lanterns.  No, it might be the crates of crockery?  The boxes of wine, the tables I moved?   43 chairs?   The buckets of ice?   Ow, ow, ow it hurts like hell!   It is partially my fault as Gary and Daniel got invited to go on a helicopter flight on Saturday morning and I obviously said GO!   Instead of waiting for them to get back to help me clean up I became the long suffering hard working hung over martyr and cleaned up.  I even poured the water out of those massive metal ice baths which just might have been the straw that broke the camel's back.  Poor camel me, arsehole me!

Now Gary and I are fighting arguing as he wants me to go to physio and it was so painful last time I am hoping it will come right on its own.  I have promised to go tomorrow if I am still this sore.  I have 4 icy-hot big plasters left.  I bought them on my US trip when I did the same thing and they are AMAZING!  Can't sit this long, I am hobbling off now to take more drugs.  Ouch.      

PICTURE PERFECT PARTY

So its Sunday night and I survived a very hectic weekend.  Two late boozy nights in a row makes for one very tired me.   As you know the party took considerable planning, time, effort and stress.  While I am not a perfectionist and not very good with detail, I am a good organizer and doer.

I had ordered incredible weather and checked every day for the 10 days prior to the night.  The day dawned hot and perfect and by evening, the wind had died down completely to one of those perfect balmy evenings. My 2 long tables looks gorg and fitted in perfectly.  The paper bag lanterns worked a treat and my garden was full of candles with extra tea lights all the way around the pool.  My barman and waiter were very enthusiastic and helpful, my booze plentiful (way over-ordered!) and the food delicious.  I even baked massive chocolate cupcakes and did the big number 40 thing! 

Everyone had a wonderful time and people were relaxed and happy.  Having the kids with was actually really special and the babysitter an extra bonus.   The young teen 'staff' declared the dancing 'cool but disturbing' and they thought the party was good too.  I always get a little worried having people drinking around my children in case the conversation gets out of hand or the language vile but everyone behaved while still having fun.  Most importantly, Gary loved his party and between the gift and the party, I am super winner-wife!

Speaking of the gift:  What do you buy for your non-drinking tattooed husband who only wears designer clothing (I am only allowed to buy undies from Wooliies) and who doesn't really have an obvious hobby or sport?   It had to be something special and sentimental and memorable.   The solution:  Tatt number 2!   Yip I know I said never ever only a very short while ago but Thursday morning had me secretly driving into town and back into Metal Machine.  Gary has my name on his left wrist so I had his name with a little red heart on my right wrist.  When we hold hands our names will touch, cutesy huh!   I wore a long sleeve top so he didn't see and told my girls some elaborate lie about accidentally cutting myself.  Then they closed eyes and I did the big reveal.  Ta dah!   My blood covenant with my husband complete with the shedding of blood, a bit of pain and sacrifice and the permanence of a forever visible symbol.   He was so stoked!  Tomorrow I will tell you about the reunion and flash a few pics, right now its beddy-bye time for me.  Many years ago going out Friday AND Saturday was mandatory, now its killer!  Zzzzzzzz!!

5.35am

Its way too early to be up but with summer here and me waking up in Fifi's room, I'm up!  I am feeling nervy about tonight and all that I have to do before everyone arrives.   I think the worse bit about having a party, is the worry that people won't have a good time and also the concern of not enough food and drink.

I have gallons and gallons of drinks and people just have to have a cool time.  It's all about Gary anyway.  He finally had a little pre birthday moment last night when he stated it was his last night in his thirties and we reflected back of this amazing decade of being 30.  Its simply the best time for me but the ol' fogies in their 40's seem to say the same thing which is extremely comforting.   In his thirties he married the very gorgeous me, had 2 little daughters who think he is the handsomest, strongest and kindest Daddy on the planet.   He bought our lovely house and got his work-him-to-death  lovely job. 

Happy thanksgiving btw!   I did think of my US friends and their families and the wonderful day I am sure you all had.  Last year Gary's birthday fell on thanksgiving and we had our very 1st one which was so awesome.  The only 'not so much' thing was the pumpkin pie.  Sorry Dawnielle, so far the real US pie failed to impress.  If I think of the year and what I have to be grateful for my list is long and rich:

• The early detection of my mother's cancer and subsequent successful treatment.
• The miraculous recovery of my dad after his heart attacks and stroke and the healing after the trip bypass.
• Rebeka sailing through grade 1 and being so happy this year.
• BB and all that we have achieved (Very due for an update!)
• Our Mauritius dream holiday that went so well
• Meeting a new friend who has become such a good one (Yes that's you Tracey)
• The personal growth that I have undergone this year
• And finally....My friends and family of course!

Its such a wonderful tradition and I hope to celebrate it next year again.   How were your TG's meals and celebrations?   One day I hope to be in the US on that day and do it US style.  It's 5.57 now, do you think I can wake them up now?   Oh I am super duper excited to give him his prezzie!   Not telling you yet, I will take a pic and show you later.  Nope, can't wait, I am off to make tea and get everyone in our bed for our traditional morning birthday ritual.  Have a blessed day all my friends around the world, may it be a super brilliant day as I am trusting ours to be too. xxx

So we doing spotty and dotty

Well done on all the party advice, you lasses are most impressive.  I decided on spotty as my decor and bought 2 super long pieces of fabric to cover my table clothes.  They are just the right width and are like a broad runner.   I also bought spotty ribbon which I stuck on the top of my paper bags for the candles you all suggested.  Hauling the sand home today was not so much fun.  I sat on the windy beach like a dork with my little red spade and filled up 3 bags not remembering how damn heavy sand is.  I then had to drag the sand back to my car but its done and I will put them out on Friday.

I am not doing any pics of him or personalized labels or anything remotely sentimental.  He is just not that kind of person and would not appreciate the attention.  Also no to flowers although I did buy loads of those tea lights you mentioned and I will also do the cupcake thing.  You see I do listen and take note!   Chairs have been collected, crockery ordered, booze ordered, weather prayed for and toes are about to be painted.   I get his gift tomorrow, its a BIG surprise and I am super excited.  Its also Tertia's birthday tomorrow and she is a pain to buy for.  I think she just thinks of something quickly to get us off her case.  Gifts clearly not her love language. 

But enough birthday chatter, I have other stuff to chat about but it will have to wait for next week.  Yesterday I was running around like crazy and I have to admit if I can get the right amount of anxiety going, its quite a rush.  The gym thing is so key and with my 2 lessons a week plus surfing and walking, I think the endorphin levels are just fine.  We surfed this morning and I remembered why I am a fair weather surfer.  I just hate the freezing cold.   Cold=Stiff=Old=Miserable.  The water was way better today so I had some good rides and felt totally happy again and re-committed to being surfer mom.   Warmer=More supple=Youngish=Happy!   

Real life party tips pls

On Friday the 27th my beloved husband turns 40 and I am throwing him a party.  Clappers don't do starsigns but I am forced to admit Sagittarians people born in late November and early December do not seem to be overly crazy about their birthdays.

We have sister Tertia who is horribly 'not so much' when it comes to her birthday.  Friend Penny born on the 10th of December and then beloved husband.   Plan A was a dicso in a hired hall with a DJ and dancing and cocktail snacks.  The birthday boy eventually wore me down with his lack of enthusiasm.  He wanted a quiet dinner with myself and the 3 kids.   What?    No, that is too depressing.  Yes I do know it is HIS birthday but he is taking big strain lately and is subsequently rather unperky.  What if he perks up later and thinks back to his dinner with wife and 3 kids and the Spur waiter bringing him his chico the clown ice-cream with its sparkler while his colleagues singing a tired happy birthday for the 10th time that night.. (SPUR just like TGIF)   So we have compromised on .... 'just do whatever you like my love.'  

So now its a fabulous 40th with 40 fabulous friends.   I have hired a caterer and have a barman (Tracey's son) and a waiter (my son) and a sitter for my girls.  (Daniel's BF who fancies the barman)   I have hired plates and organized cutlery and chairs from lovely Jo.  I get tables from Debbie and I have enough cloths thanks to the market in Mauritius.  We are having 2 long tables set up outside and yes, it will be lovely weather because it simply has to be!   I will have lots of candles everywhere and I am even having the sofas put out on the lawn for our cigar lounge.

So party people, any tips?   Good ideas to put candles in?  Other pretty inexpensive decor ideas?  Do I need to do flowers for the table?   What about floaty things in the pool?   Which bottle store to use that will give me glasses and ice with my booze order?  PC to do just wine, champagne and beer or do I need spirits too?   All the food will be delivered and set up inside so people can help themselves when we all sit down to dinner.  Do I need pre snacks actually?    Only 4 sleeps so come out of your cave and help here.   Pity Angel so far away as I could order her gorg cupcakes.  Mmmh, gorg cupcakes instead of cake or must I do cake?   OK, enough pondering, give me those clever tips now!

Mushy Me

I am so sentimental lately.   Everything seems to have a little added depth and meaning and be a little more special or significant.   Maybe its because Gary turns 40 next Friday?  Or Rebeka has almost finished grade 1?   Daniel starting high school in January and about to finish junior school?  My 20th high school reunion next Saturday?    My folks 'The Fockers' coming back from the big RV holiday?  So many things I guess.

In a little while I am off to a wedding of people who I do not even know yet I do know I will feel all soppy and loved up and think back to mine which relatively speaking, wasn't that long ago.  Mmmh, typed that yesterday and now I am back finishing this post.  The wedding WAS lovely and it is always a good reminder of how we are meant to love each other.  The whole service was in Afrikaans and mine is rather rusty but I got most of the message.  They are obviously both strong Christians and God was very present on the day.  When she walked up the aisle in her mothers dress looking ravishing, I felt a real tug of the heart strings.  Then the look he gave her, too sweet!   They are both 26 and young and fresh and all idealistic.   I found a ladybug (Apparently called Junebugs in the US) on the bouquet a single girl seated at our table had caught which allowed me one wish.  Some wishes may not be told and some may but I am not too sure of ladybug wishes?  I am not supposed to be superstitious so here's the wish:   God and ladybug, I wish that Gary and I will one day be present at the weddings of all 3 of our kids and that they will marry kind parters who love them and love God with a huge love.  Thank you and Amen.   I only remembered to ask that Gary and I still be together at the weddings after my wish but I quickly added that bit in.  I hope my folks will be at the weddings too.   I LOVE family weddings and although all 4 kids are now married off, 8 grandkids means 8 family weddings one day and with any luck, I will be that old granny that everyone drinks a toast to at my grandkids wedding.  It's possible you know!   If Daniel has a kid at 27 and she gets married at 25, I will be 77.   Yay!  

Told you I was feeling mushy!   Maybe its the mirena?   You know me and my hormones, they get blamed for all sorts of things.  In fact last Saturday a certain family member  was rude to me and when I told him not to be so rude, he told me not to be so hormonal!  The cheek of it!   I think so far so good and the cramping has stopped.   Now we wait for the next cycle to see if mad menstrual me returns or if I am just normal mad.     

Sisterly loo love

Yesterday I went in to the bathroom to run the bath and caught my 2 girls passing the time while Fifi had a number 2.   Rebeka has a slight cold so I guess stinky was not too much of an issue.

 

This is her 'what's so weird about playing naughts and crosses that you need to take a pic' look.

Only 1 uterine procedure per 1 female per day

So having Zara spayed on the day of the mirena insertion proved to be extremely silly and resulted in a good dose of 'woe is me.'   Firstly trying to pick up your 28 kilo dog to help her out the car 2 hours post insertion is a bad idea as is taking out the 18 kilo dog food and 25 liter water refill.

Then, cleaning up dog vomit continuously through out the evening while doubled up, not so much.  My poor baby was so nauseous and proceeded to throw up the whole evening.  Eventually I got hold of my very kind vet who suggested I remove her water bowl and only give her a sip every hour or so which did the trick.  She was also quite prepared to drive to my house at 10pm and give her an anti nausea shot.   Gary  worked late and only got home after 10 and we had an incident with the girls involving much tears and a drop of blood.   Its amazing how the tempo and volume of crying and screaming increase when a droplet of blood is visible.  Sofia had accidentally hit Rebeka in the mouth with her very hard cast causing the lip to bleed while Rebeka's large front tooth kind of bit into Sofia's finger that had connected with the mouth. 

Eventually everyone fell asleep and I got to watch 2 of my fave shows, Brothers & Sisters and Private Practice.  I feel way better today although Zara is not doing as well,its strange to see her relatively calm and acting like a normal dog.   Hopefully I will also be relatively calm and act like a normal girl!

30 Somethings

So our annual BB Christmas party is coming up in early December.  Most of you know by now we do not have a party for the mothers but prefer to make a fuss of the maternity staff who work their arses off for very little money and very little thanks or recognition.

I still take strain at the harsh treatment some of them give the mothers but generally they are a good bunch and many are real angels.  I also know loving them and showing them kindness makes them more likely to treat our darling mums with kindness and compassion in return.   So what we please need:   30 somethings to make up gift bags as well as people to make sandwiches and cakes and yum things.  It can be lipsticks or bangles or soaps or chocolate or anything that makes a nice prezzie for them.  I am going to send out a request at church for food stuff as they often make meals for other clappers in time of need and this is surely even better!    If any locals have goodies please leave at the BB office with Tuli or you can give to me.   I would get up to check the party date in my diary but of my goodness me I am crampy post Mirena. It was damn painful and invasive and just horrid.   I know the crampiness only lasts today and a bit of tomorrow so I guess I need to hang in there for now and wait for all to settle.  Poor Zara got spayed today so neither of us are up to much at all.   I am off to fetch my sweet dog, its going to be weird to see her calm and quiet.   Love that mad mutt!  

Look at my b'day prezzie!

Happy 61st birthday Mom, happy 10th clappy birthday me!   Today I had an extra special Lordy b'day.  A big local church had a ladies day fashion show with dancing and singing and we were chosen as the outreach they wished to bless with any profit made.

I thought I was going to subtly sit at the back but when I arrived 2 minutes late, they were showing our BB DVD and a few seconds later I had the microphone thrust into my hand and stood in front of 300 ladies on a big stage and spoke about the work we do and the plans for the future.   I then got presented with a cheque for Bosom Buddies for R10 000.   10 grand on my 10th birthday, gotta love Him!   It was such an amazing moment and growth from 10 years prior when I prayed the prayer that changed my life.  I never ever expected I would be used by God to run something like BB and although I b*tch and moan and still want to quit every so often, I am also hugely humbled by the trust He has instilled in me and the honour of doing what we do.  

The previous day I had to pay my fleece supplier R3573.55 which is a lot of money for us.  I checked my statement and noticed our 2 big regular donors that each give R1000 a month had not given this month.  I paid for the fleece anyway and then today I get this cheque.  I also sold some quilts our ladies made for an additional R750 total.  Again and again He reminds me He is the source, the provider and we are to go and go in faith.   Thanks to darling volunteer Kerrin and her church The Bay Christian Family Church, we appreciate you.   Thanks to you God who I know doesn't sweat the small stuff, the petty differences and who patiently walks with me every day even when I drag my heels, run ahead, ignore you, whine or take you for granted.  I love you!  (It's not just the cheque either!)