Doula Mel

Mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend, surrogacy coordinator, STUDENT.

So I've done it.  I have literally put my money where my mouth is and started studying my BA Social Work.  It's a good thing I had paid for my subjects as the initial bit of trying to figure UNISA out was so damn frustrating I almost quit.  

My Social Work degree is a minimum 5 year project and pretty daunting.  I am not always great at following these grand plans I have.  Case in point:   Doula practise, Sewing course and all those clothes I was going to sew.  I do finish the course and initially am all enthusiastic and then I move onto the next thing.  The prob with my studies is its very long.  I will be 45/46 when I graduate!    

I was told UNISA would drive me somewhat mental and people did not lie.  I wanted to cry, swear, punch my laptop with frustration.   At least next semester will be easier as I will have figured out what to do.  My patient friend in the computer Michelle is also studying social work so fortunately could help me out.  Next time I will see a student counsellor before I choose my subsequent subjects.  So far I am doing Basic Psychology, Psychology in Society, Anthropology and then Social Welfare Policy which I added at the last minute.  I have under estimated the time it will take to study  but I have worked out a programme with my exercise (non negotiable) and my work and my studies.  The afternoons are totally dedicated to kids and the crazy extra murals and homework etc.   Unfortunately very little time for friends or leisure but I am pretty strict about Sundays being Sabbath and for friends and family and chilling.

As for the actual studying, cool!   I have only really got into Anthro which us right up my ally.  We tend to be so judgemental and disapproving of people different to us but we haven't taken the time to understand them and why they do what they do.  I love the philosophy of being curious and compassionate about other people and  not insisting your way is the only way or superior.  When I get over whelmed at the thought of 5 years I have to remind myself one semester at a time.   I do hope I can continue with it and don't give up.  When/if I finally finish their are so many amazing career opportunities for me and my youngest will have just finished junior school so I will be ready.

When I want to quit remind me that I am doing this for my own personal growth, I am doing this to learn, I can do all things with God who strengthens me, I can do this and push through, I am dong this with the possibility of a fulfilling career and I am doing what I should have done 22 years ago when I was told to study social work.  Go me go!

A friend put this on FB.  What a baby I am, probably about 17?   I cannot imagine this girl studying what I am doing now so I guess the time is now and wasn't meant to be way back when.

Proof that people do change

Tertia's BF is Mel who is also her business partner.  She is commonly known as friend Mel while I am sister Mel.  We are both 40 and both were known for our great loves in the past.  I loved children and babies and being a mother and Mel loved animals especially her dogs.  Sister Mel did not love dogs and certainly didn't want one.  Friend Mel did not love babies and certainly didn't want one.

Somehow we hit late thirties and had a change of heart and now friend Mel is mom to Eden and sister Mel me is now mom to dogs Lucy and Zara.   We have both been converted and are quite fanatical in our new beliefs and have now moved over to the other side.  I LOVE dogs and I am crazy about mine.  Mellie loves babies and is crazy about her gorgeous little poppet.   

I have to just add that I am simply posing the kiss here and I am still unable to kiss my dogs or handle any dog saliva what-so-ever.  EVER! 

Mom 1st, friend 2nd.

One of the biggest lessons to be accepted as a mother is that you will not always be liked by your child.   You want to make them happy, to have their life full of fun and delight and happiness but their safety and healthy development comes first.

When your kids are little this is pretty easy.   Staying up late, sweets all day and no bath is probably their choice.   Underpants  and wellie boots to church, fairy wings and a tiara with nothing else to school in the middle of winter.   Mom clearly needs to step in to make sure kids are healthy and warm and clean and fed.  Basic needs.  Manners are a simple please and thank you and greeting in return.  Wait your turn, share, pick up your toys.

Fast forward to a decade or so later and your sweet fairy/batman has become a teenager where all the rules have changed.   Add social media like twitter and FB and Mxit and now try parenting  in unchartered territory.    With Daniel I am a young mom with me being 40 and him being 15.  Not super young I know but relatively young none the less.   This has both good and bad consequences for him.   I have tons of energy,  I really like his friends and teens in general and I do remember what it was like to be a teen.   (This despite him accusing me of not being in touch with my inner teen!)

In the past if you rode your plastic bike with no shoes on you could scrape your toe.  Now riding on a mototrbike with no helmet could end your life.   Bad friends in the past could mean you become cheeky or naughty, bad friends now mean drugs and drinking.  Unsuitable TV age 5 might mean nightmares or becoming more aggressive,   now we have porn.   Sulking vs depression and suicide.    Playing doctor-doctor or checking out each others bits while jumping on Mom’s bed after bath vs teen pregnancy or an STD or HIV.   The consequences of bad choices and immature judgement become life changing and even fatal.  It’s scary!

This NYE Daniel had 4 friends staying with him at our holiday house we rented.  Girl age 16, 2 boys of 15, one of 16 and one of 17.    For the first time he was allowed 1 drink.  His friends too after I checked if their parent s were OK with it.   They went down to the beach of the next holiday town where everyone hangs out and fireworks and music and drinking are a plenty.   At 12.30 I fetched them to take them home and I was incredibly unpopular practically ruining their lives and their only chance ever of kissing a girl.   They begged to stay and promised to get a ride home.  NOT.   Beach full of drunk people and roads full of drunk drivers.   I did feel sorry for them, they were practically crying with disappointment but because I  really do remember, I know what can and does happen.    They told me if the world ends in 2012 and they never kiss a girl it will be all my fault.    Sorry boys, I am the mom first and the cool friend Auntie Mel cannot always be cool.  Being responsible for other people’s kids is hectic and I am relieved everyone is all back home in one piece.   I have 6 years till Daniel turns 21 and then its 2 teen girls to parent.  Thank God I have Him to guide me as well as Him to guide them.  I really pray for Godly wisdom and guidance.  I want to be realistic and I want to be their friend who they can tell anything too but first and foremost my job is to keep them safe which means mom trumps friend every time.

Twenty-Eleven

It’s time to look behind me before I step forward into a new year.  I love that we have such a definite end of one year and the start of a new year.  For me it really does symbolise a fresh start with endless possibilities.  Being a reflective person means I do pause and look behind me hoping to take some new lessons with me.

I find it interesting that we often look at a whole year and say what a tough year it was and how the next year can only be better.  Experience tells me that each year has its challenges and its blessings.   It’s also interesting that so many Christians expect a life of constant blessing and happiness and just can’t believe it when tough times or sorrow come.  Other religions seem so accepting of sorrow yet for many Western Christians we feel so floored and cheated and attacked when life kicks us in the teeth.   God tells us we WILL have sorrow in this life but we do have Him and He will never leave us alone to battle it alone.

So what did I do this year?  Lets start with the GOOD!
I started a new job which is enormously frustrating but also rewarding.    Finding a surrogate is so difficult and then to finally get to the point where you do the IVF and have it fail or worse, have the surrogate miscarry, well you can imagine the disappointment and pain all around which I am not immune to.

Then I did my sewing course.   My machine remains unused and the skirt I made unworn.  Oh well, I did it I guess and I really should tell myself a good I told you so Mellie!

I turned FORTY!   Huge milestone for me!!  I am glad I had a party and so far forty really has been brilliant.   Who knew I would feel this young at 40?   Twenty years ago I thought I would be old at forty! 

I went to Singapore & Thailand with my mom where we met sister Nina.   This 21 years after our first trip together when I had promised we would go overseas together when I turned 40.  It was stunning and pure happiness.   I hope to go back there in 2013 and take my family.

We took the kids the London, San Francisco and Disney which has been a life long dream too.  They loved it and the travel bug has now been passed on.  Seeing my brother in London was super cool too and I hope Daniel gets to go and stay with his Uncle Paulie sometime.  

I made the decision to study again and actually registered so no going back.  My studies will be a huge part of 2012 and I am definitely nipping a little!

I entered quite a few 10km walks and even did a 15km in the Vineyards as well.  I also entered my first run and managed about 7 of the 10km with the rest walking.  Granted I could hardly move for the next 3 days but I did it none the less!   The previous year I did so few because I waited for people to walk with me but this year I just entered and always seem to find some willing soul at the eleventh hour.

 I got to witness what a great job Frances is doing with Bosom Buddies and still enjoy visiting the hospital every second week.  Seven years on and BB is going strong and it is simply because God stays faithful when we listen to His voice and don't give up.

My exciting faith!  I found out there are many other Christians out there who want less rules and more Jesus and it’s OK to questions and debate and seek and read.  My relation with Him has grown and I am loving the love rush, the wonder and endless possibilities.   Gary bought me Crazy Love by Francis Chan and I look forward to reading it.

I taught grade 2 and 3 Sunday school this year and while I certainly don’t have a gift or real love of teaching, it seems loving children is enough so I will continue next year.

And the grand ending…doing the 5 day Whale Trail Hike with Colleen and Cathy and friends and just loving it.  We are now committed hiking barbies and hope to do a few next year.  

And now the BAD.
I had my heart broken by such an unexpected source that I felt crippled for months.  The pain was so intense it became physical and my whole posture changed.  I had thought a previous heart break from 15 years ago had sufficed in enough scar tissue to prevent being that vulnerable again but it came from another place where I was wide open and not expecting it ever, ever, ever.   I have since learned that everyone screws up and some are just bigger than others.  Sometimes we do incredibly stupid things and do not think of the consequences or of the other people who will get crushed in the aftermath.  But time does heal and even though I still see the pain of people I love I do see things have got much better and I trust will be totally better even if changed, in time to come.

I battled with really bad back ache which was exacerbated by the emotional trauma.  It’s been a lot better since I have felt better.  I have to admit I think the Bowin’s technique has worked too.    Next year I do Pilate's one on one with a physio.

We lost Aidan on the 26^th of November and Gary and I think about him every day.   He is gone, totally gone and it remains such a sad and difficult concept to grasp.   It feels horribly unfair yet at the same time, we know God is sovereign and totally unsurprised by Aidan pitching up and making Jesus laugh within the first 5 seconds of meeting Him face to face.   We both feel so tender towards his wife and kids and just want to love them and do whatever we can for them.
On the 19^th of December I also lost my school BF’s sister Cara who battled Lupus complications for months.  Cara was only 34 years old and spunky and vibrant and fun.   She had been very sick for the past few months and finally her body couldn’t keep up with her spirit.   Now she keeps that Cara spirit with a new healthy body and gets to talk crap with Aidan in heaven.    

Their deaths have reminded me of the pure privilege and responsibility of this life I have for now.  I have to live my best life as my friend Oprah states.  I want to have no regrets one day.  I want to be brave enough to try everything and secure enough to cope with the inevitable failure which will be part of some of my attempts.   I do want to make a difference and I am hoping my studies will pan out and I will eventually qualify as a social worker and be able to give back somewhere.   I am grateful for all God has blessed me with and excited for 2012.  Bring it on!!!

Hiker Barbie indeed.

Our hike was absolutely awesome and I am so hooked and ready to hike the next mountain.   With these kind of holidays the potential for disaster is always great.  I prayed so earnestly and furiously and the whole trip felt very God covered.  

The group of ladies was a little strange and because of age, somewhat segregated.   Half of us were in our late 30's or early 40's and then 5 ladies were late 50's or early 60's.  One lady had brought her poor daughter who was a 22 year old student who didn't say much the whole hike.  She seemed pretty bored and I don't know why she didn't bring a girlfriend.   We so want to do it again but with a group of like minded girlfriends of our age next time.

Colleen and I got along brilliantly which is pretty impressive considering you are spending 24/7 with someone in pretty basic conditions.  I guess we were both just chilled and the absolute beauty of the mountains and then later the ocean can only make someone feel supper blessed and happy.   We walked and walked for the 55 kms, we ate loads and spoke loads and laughed plenty.   It was also so cool catching up with my school friend Cathy and her sisters and they were fun company.  Cathy and her friend organized the food and we all chipped in.  They have done this several times so know the drill.  Our food was delicious so despite the strenuous hike, we both gained a kilo.

My back was more than fine and it seems God did grant me my 5 pain free days I so implored Him to do.   I had a Bowin's therapy session the day I left and although really sore that same day, by morning I was fine.   No falls, no snake bites, no blisters, no nothing, just absolute beauty and simplicity.  The stars at night were insane and something us city folk don't get to see.  Our day blessing one morning was a pod of about 30 dolphins jumping and surfing the waves.   Ridiculously exquisite and such a gift to see.   I can't find my camera charger but will post some pics as soon as I do.

Thanks God for your incredible creation and the opportunity to see it.  Thanks for my life, my health, my friends.   I am just so grateful!

She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes...

Tra lah lahhh!   I leave for a very awesome hike with a bunch of girls in just 2 days.  Its a 55km 5 day hike called The Whale Trail   I am told it is absolutely beautiful and one of the best hikes ever.  They have a 1 to 2 year waiting list so a friend and I were fortunate that another old school friend of mine had space for us.

We don't know the rest of the group but I guess 55kms of hiking will give us plenty of bonding time.   The first 2 days are both 15km each and pretty rough but it supposedly gets easier.  I have only ever done a one day one night hike so I am a little nervy.  I have been praying for my back like crazy and for physio with needling today and then a 2nd session of Bowins therapy on Wed in case it does actually work which I think it just might.   I have avoided tennis and surfing and anything else that might make my back worse so I think I am all good to go.   Ye olde hiking folk...what to bring, little tips of what we should and shouldn't do, how do we make this as awesome as possible?

PS:  Mel jumpy shot will be done on the last day to ensure no injury to 40 year old self.

Hoping it won't be too late in the year to see these amazing creations God has blessed us with.

Coping with Grade 1

Summer holidays started yesterday and we are all so relieved.   Daniel goes to grade 10 next year, Rebeka to grade 4 and Sofia to grade 2.   Grade 1 is a very, very big deal.   I totally underestimated the effect it would have on my girlie.  Last children are always the baby of the family and I know Gary and I baby her far too much.  She is a fairly quiet little soul and sensitive as well.  She is strong and determined and won't give in easily but at the same time has a heart that breaks at the smallest prod.

It is actually quite hard to reprimand her and those eyes just fill with tears ans she is genuinely upset.  Now I know it sounds like she is manipulating me but she really does get very sad if anyone speaks to her in a harsh or loud voice.   My home is pretty calm and I hardly ever shout at my kids.   Gary and I are not loud people and fortunately yelling or shouting is not part of our family.   Enter the grade 1 teacher Mrs H.   An extrovert with black hair and lots of make up and a very, very loud voice that often yells.   Think Cruella de Vil, scary!   

The irony is that she is fun and fabulous and all the kids adore her and I really like her too but Sofia took enormous strain in the first part of the year.  The shouting totally freaked her out as well as the abrupt manner Mrs H sometimes has.  She is not one of those mommy nurturing kind of teachers and would probably be great at an older level.  Then I think one of Sofia's other stressors was the worry of where to be, when and what to bring and what to wear and remember.  Its a big school and all of a sudden they need to know that at a certain time they must be on the field in their sports clothes etc.  I helped her in the first 2 terms by being at the school and walking her down to sports.  Its hard to let go, to have to watch them toughen up.  Being a state school means even less molly coddling and greater independence.

BUT, my girl has coped and has matured so much and become so much more independent.  I am incredibly proud of her and pleased that her stomach aches seems to be far less.   We did OT the first term (STILL no pencil grip but we have accepted that) and I did play therapy the last 2 terms to help her deal with anxiety and worry that the Loebenberg genes seem to pass on.

For those of you with grade one's next year, good luck.  Sometimes the kid we think will fly struggles and the the opposite is true too.   Be patient and get help and support if you need.   Parenting is all about equipping our kids with ways to cope on their own.  Don't compare your child's work to others, they learn at different levels and all catch up eventually.  Find their sparkly bits and focus on those rather than obsessing over their weaker areas.  If you feel overwhelmed get some help, most schools have remedial for those weaker areas.  Pack their bags the night before, read the letters so you don't forget to send stuff and add them stress.  Make sure they know your mobile number.  If you have an issue with the teacher do not be aggressive or defensive or blind to your child's faults.  (I had an awesome meeting with the teacher when I almost took Sofia out her class)    Baby them in the beginning if need be but know when to step back.   Do your bit for the school, what you put in is really what you get out.   Enjoy it, it flies by and you will both survive even if the reading will be so boring to listen to you will drool and nap sporadically at each homework session.   Enjoy your little person with their gummy gaps and massive front teeth that is leaving your nest.    So proud of you my Trixie-Bix!

How cute is this!   So much to bring and remember for a little 6 year old person.

A very long sad week!

I have been a very bad blogger in 2011.  In the first few years of my blog I blogged almost daily and had a great readership but these days I have been somewhat slack.  I guess life seems to get busier and faster with less time.   The time issue is somewhat worrying considering I am studying next year.  And no, I haven't registered yet.

I have been trying to sort out if my work can subsidise part of my studies as my degree is directly related to my work.  I plan on using my degree to expand what I do and be more effective and involved.   The real reason for the delay is my stupid techno issue.   Monday was the first day I could register.  I was all ready to go and couldn't get past step one.   I try to select the option, press enter, shout at the screen, point at the chosen icon but nothing.  I was somewhat discouraged as my whole degree is on-line and I couldn't do step one of the 10 step registration process.   Will employ husband to assist when he wakes up.

So part reason for the long week is the extreme business and all the events that seem to be part and parcel of this time of year.  5 late nights in one week makes me a tired girl.  The real reason is a broken heart though.  Last Saturday we lost one of very good friends in a motorbike accident.  It has been devastating to our friendship circle and our church.   A friend and I jokingly call our husbands Norman-no-Mates as they are both shy and not big minglers.   Its not actually true though and Gary does has friends but they are a very select bunch of guys who he cares about and spends time with.   He has 2 BF's in Somerset West and Aidan is one of them.   I am not going to say was in this post, just is.   Because Aidan is such a loud, funny, crazy, naughty, positive person, his dying has left this massive void and vacuum that has left his friends and family devastated.   He takes up 75% of the room and the rest of us occupy 25%.   No Aidan?   How can that be?  No Aidan in our church chirping from the back or playing poker on his i-pad on occasion.  No Aidan at our braais telling bad jokes and making us all laugh.  No Aidan in our weekly life group (our church has smaller groups hang out in the week) to keep us all from getting too serious or religious.  No.  Impossible.   His fun and bubbly wife with her loud laugh and his kids without him, oh its just so horribly sad.   

It was Gary's birthday last Sunday.   It was not a happy birthday, losing your BF the day before.  It was Aidan's 39th birthday yesterday and just another hard day in this journey of grief.  Once again my gratitude at having God in our lives is massive.  We all so want to comfort his wife and love her and make it better but we cannot.  Nothing we say or cook or do.  But Him, yes.  Only God can comfort her and strengthen her and carry her young kids when she just can't.   I am so proud of her, the strength and grace I suspected below that loud laugh is so evident.  

As always their is a lesson in the hard times.  He lived his life 100% and was not afraid to take risks or afraid to fail.  He reckoned if you try 10 things and fail at 4 you still have 6.  If you try 2 and succeed at both you still only have 2.   He enjoyed his life and was incredibly generous.  If his business did badly he gave.   If it did well, he gave.  He loved to give, money was just money to be given away and enjoyed, not stuck under his mattress.   He lived life large with no regrets and its how I want to live.   Aidan we miss you horribly and no one will ever be the same again.   xxx

PS:   no pic of our Aidan, feels just too personal to share.

Abundant Life

Time to talk health and body again.  I love being healthy and I appreciate my body.  I do not take it for granted and I am determined to be a fit and funky old lady one day who does all sorts of things.   Genetics have not dealt me the kindest hand and I am aware of what lurks in my DNA.  Unfortunately anxiety and depression is one as you know although I fortunately only have the former to battle.  I found an old notebook from 10 years ago when I first met Gary and it was interesting to see that my anxiety was hanging around then already.  Milder than now but old Agatha was definitely there.

So Agatha is accepted and controlled via diet and exercise.  Unfortunately I just can't seem to do the drugs.  Last week she was a little manic but now its just normal boom-boom beating heart anxiety.  My current health problem that is getting me down physically and mentally, is my cronky back.   I have had back ache for years and the times between pain and stiffness seems to be shorter.   Its debilitating and most of the things I love to do, make it worse.   Surfing...killer.  Its the angel of my back when I am paddling.   Ironically surfing is brilliant for anxiety and makes me so damn happy so not being able to, well, makes me so damn sad.   Sex...serious back ache the next day.   My husband assures me sex is excellent for all sorts of health problems and should be done on a very regular basis so having bad back ache the next day is very sucky indeed.   Tennis, running, climbing the mountain...all hurt my lower back.   The pain is in the right hip which spreads to my lower back and I get all tight in my right butt cheek  and all down my leg gets super tight.   At the moment just bending down to put my trainers on pinches the nerves and I haven't even STARTED to exercise.   

I have been to physio and I am currently seeing a chiropractor.  He had done x-rays and can;t see anything drastically wrong.  I went for some blood tests last week and I see him today for the results to see if it isn't something else.   Its just not working.  Who do I see and what do I do?   Osteopath?   Surgeon?   I know I should have an MRI but I don't have 7K right now and we are not on full medical aid.  Once I know whats wrong I promise I will start pilates even though I find it really boring and feel embarrassed at being as flexible as a 80 year old.   I have found someone who is a physio and pilates teacher and will schedule a session.   Shit, fine, I will phone right now.   OK, left a msg.  

I want an abundant life.  I was at church on Sunday and they had this really nasty crown of thorns that made me want to cry every time I looked at it.  He died such an horrendous death and He said he came to give us life and life in abundance which is my right and my claim.   Gary says I am being stubborn by insisting on doing the 10km Vital run/walk which is in 2 weeks time.   No, I want to run in the vineyards with my friend.  I want to climb our mountain and surf and have passionate sex with my husband.  I want to play terrible tennis with my friend where we spend half the time apologising and laughing because we suck so badly.  These are Godly things I just know God would want me to enjoy.  I insist on this abundant life and being in pain and not being able to do all I want to is just rubbish.   I will get better, I will find someone who can fix my back and I will not stop asking God to heal me.  I will become such a pain in the arse that eventually He will turn around and say enough already, your back is healed.  Please God.   Heal me instantly or place people in my life who will heal me once and for all.  You know I want stop asking until you do and I KNOW you can fix me.  Please!!! 

Jumpy Mel in happier times.

Birthdays tomorrow

So tomorrow my darling mama turns 63 and I know I have a busy Monday so thought I would wish her today instead.  I love having a young mother and she's a great one.   And no, its not just my bias, my friends have always loved my mom too and now even my kids' friends love 'their' Mimi.

The past 3 years have been incredibly difficult for my mother.  Somehow she sailed along till 60 with the odd bit of bad weather and only the rare not too scary storm.  The storms were caused by her 4 kids and we all gave her heartache whenever our own hearts would ache or break.   She turned 60 in November and by the next month, she was diagnosed with cancer after a hectic op and so began the nightmare of chemo and treatment.   Les than a year later we had my dad have his trip bi-pass, 2 heart attacks and the stroke that has forever changed our family.  Ironically all that a month after his 60th too actually!

This year has been the hardest of all and they say our true colours come out when crises hits.  What do we exhibit when life kicks us in the teeth so hard our everything shatters?    Bitterness or self-pity or anger or depression or paralysis?  Un-forgiveness and revenge?   Who are we really under our polite day faces?  Well she might have gone through some of these feelings but they were so fleeting that her true colours quickly emerged.    What an incredible strong lady my mother is.  Full of class and compassion giving grace when none was deserved.  My love has been a given and could grow no larger than it already is.  My respect and admiration however, well that has increased ten fold.   God has carried my mom and she has often felt His silence when she was desperate for a word.   I believe He stayed silent as His daughter was doing and being all she needed to be.   This past week was the first time she heard His voice with a message she needed to hear.  Just one word spoken by a complete stranger that had no relevance to their conversation yet we knew it was a God thing.   Amazing!

Tomorrow is also my Christian birthday and I time where I reflect on my walk with God.   Twelve years of working out my salvation.   Sometimes I get it wrong and often I get it right but I am forever grateful for the love and acceptance and grace of God through Jesus.  If you can get past the bullshit that seems to discolour the true msg of the gospel and be sincere in your walk with Him you will really find a life that is filled with meaning and passion and love that really does cover the proverbial multitude of sins.   My scripture of late has been: Return to me the joy of my salvation.  (Somewhere in bible, don't ask me where)   I feel like I am back at that place where I first fell in love and couldn't believe that someone like me could call themselves a Christian.   I can and I am.  I don't have to do anything and even things I do that I shouldn't does not disqualify me.   Love and be loved, be the best person I know how, chase after God and seek Him in all I do, live what I believe and be real.  

I feel hugely blessed to have the mother I have and a God big enough to encompass all I am warts and all.  Happy birthday Bella Mama and happy bday to clapper me!

Gorg Mimi on our unforgettable Singapore and Thailand holiday this year.  We'll go again Mom so if you wake up and its a wobble day, then think back to this day and think forward to our future travels with many days like this one.