Bloggy No No’s.

It seems that blogging has few rules I have failed to adhere to.  I guess I just jumped in and took lessons from my rebellious bloggy sister who seemed to post about all and sundry.  I think the things I presumed to be off limits are actually acceptable and other obscure stuff, is not permissible.

So what I have learnt so far…
Never admit to spanking one’s child or be a pro spanker.  Under no circumstances admit to secretly wanting to give a good ‘snotklap’ aka smack to someone else’s kid.  Him throwing his food off the table, yelling at his mother or kicking, scratching or biting is just little Johnny’s way of expressing his feelings. Poor Johnny.

Never admit to not loving dogs or desperately NOT wanting one.  Dogs are very serious business. Not wanting a cat or finding them annoying is acceptable though, even cool.

People from other religions who are firm and uncompromising in their beliefs are admired, they are devout, focused and are to be respected.  Christians are not in the same boat, they are ‘freaks’, judgmental and hypocritical.  We all know someone who says they are a Christian, BUT do X, Y or Z.

Don’t wander why some pregnant women choose to have elective cesareans if there is no medical need or health risk whatsoever.  This is perceived as judgment, not curiosity or potential advice opportunity to undecided pregnant women under the care of bullying pro cesareans gynaes.  In fact stay off birth stories altogether, even if you are a doula and find them fascinating. 

Don’t talk about SAHM’s and working moms.  Don’t admit to finding being a SAHM extremely boring at times as then you are an ungrateful mother who has no empathy for the working chicks who would love to be in your comfy shoes.  Don’t sometimes envy their sexy strappy sandals as then you are a selfish mother who doesn’t appreciate the 20 billion bonding hours you spend with little Suzie.  Also don’t have days where you sometimes talk about loving staying at home because that would make the working girls feel sad or guilty.

Never use foul language on your blog, other people will report you and you will be in lots of Kak. (aka Sh*t)

I am sure there are other topics I will innocently stumble on only to find they are big no-no’s!  It is hard when you come from a culture different to most of your readers.  It means that some things are acceptable in mine, while not in yours.   It is also hard to reveal your tone when writing and to do the sarcasm thing so that people get it.

I think blogging is about chatting about all different things. Getting other people’s insights and opinions make it interesting.  I will at times accidentally offend and be offended in return but that is life, lets kiss and make up and move on. I hope you know me a little by now and know I am not a bitchy or nasty person, at least not on purpose.  My spelling will sometimes be bad, my grammar will often be bad.  When I am premenstrual, I will moan about how no one helps me at BB and be all ungrateful and fed up and want to quit.  After 3 days, I will rave about all the support I get and how touched I am by the kindness of everyone and want to expand.

I am a committed sold-out-for-God Christian, patriotic South African, mom to an ADD kid and 2 girlies, non-paid voluntary doula, SAHM, humanitarian, pro natural birth, pro silicon boobies, cat person, surfer chick, anti Bratz, pro barbies, anti-guns, family person. Some parts of myself I don’t like, lots of myself, I do like.  I work on both.  I am going to blog about anything and everything that tickles my fancy, makes me sad, happy, curious or cross.   I will understand if I blog about something controversial, I will get a certain response.  I will handle this without bawling or being a wuss or acting defensive and injured.  Well maybe I will allow a day of being a bit injured and defensive.  I will try not care that I spent hours on a thought provoking post and not get a single response or get one where the point was missed.

I, Melanie Novitzkas, will blog with balls!

 

Comments

[Coral]

Good girl, go for it!!!

xxxx + hugs!!

[angel]

go melanie- woohoooooo!!!
love your work girl!!

[elzabe]

Good for you! I don't like pets - wouldn't even mis them if they suddenly dissappear. I work flexi hours, but have alot on my plate. Sometimes I think I would love to be a stay at home mom, but al to often I know it is not right for my personality. I envy my SAH friends never the less (only the ones with rich husbands though!!!)

I love my children but know they are not the beginning and ending of my world. I know only God should have that place. I am me, a child of God and then I am my DH wife, lover, team mate, friend and then I am my children's mother (not owner).

I appreciate woman who dare to give their opinions. It proves to me that I am not as mush ga-ga as I sometimes think or made to think be people that pretend to be just so GOOD and flawless!!

[Julia]

Go Girl!!

[DüneSieben]

You go girl, go!! :-)
LOVE reading your blog!

[june]

I think that a lot of Moms who went through infertility get used to doctors managing their pregnancies, and then their births, and end up with c-sections, because in the U.S. that is what doctors prefer. Many of us feel rotten after the c-section, its tough to recover from.

My doctor kept telling me that the c-section was best for us, before, during and after birth (I have one child, one c-section birth), I still have a lot of mixed feelings about it, but in the end, I have a happy healthy son and I'm pretty much fully recovered, so I have nothing to complain about.

It's an emotionally charged issue, especially with women who went through fertility, because when you're trying so hard to have a baby, and everyone is praying for you and asking about your progress, it's hard not to feel judged about every decision you make about birth, pregnancy, and child rearing.

Please keep talking about c-sections with intellectual curiosity, it's a subject that not a lot of women address until they are faced with it, and as long as you talk about it without judgement or bashing the women who have them, then I think you'll get an interesting discussion on your blog that many women will benefit from.

Don't let the stupid comments get to you. I've had a couple of weird strangers say things on my blog and my husband and I usually just laugh at them. Think about how sad it must be for the person who reads enough of your blog to know so much about you, yet decides to bash you publicly in the comments section of your blog.

[june]

I think that a lot of Moms who went through infertility get used to doctors managing their pregnancies, and then their births, and end up with c-sections, because in the U.S. that is what doctors prefer. Many of us feel rotten after the c-section, its tough to recover from.

My doctor kept telling me that the c-section was best for us, before, during and after birth (I have one child, one c-section birth), I still have a lot of mixed feelings about it, but in the end, I have a happy healthy son and I'm pretty much fully recovered, so I have nothing to complain about.

It's an emotionally charged issue, especially with women who went through fertility, because when you're trying so hard to have a baby, and everyone is praying for you and asking about your progress, it's hard not to feel judged about every decision you make about birth, pregnancy, and child rearing.

Please keep talking about c-sections with intellectual curiosity, it's a subject that not a lot of women address until they are faced with it, and as long as you talk about it without judgement or bashing the women who have them, then I think you'll get an interesting discussion on your blog that many women will benefit from.

Don't let the stupid comments get to you. I've had a couple of weird strangers say things on my blog and my husband and I usually just laugh at them. Think about how sad it must be for the person who reads enough of your blog to know so much about you, yet decides to bash you publicly in the comments section of your blog.

[Bev]

Well said! You go, Mel!

[Flicka]

Blogging with balls!! *lets out a long wolf whistle* Yeah, girl!

I hate the rules of blogging and think they are silly. The absolute beauty of the internet is that if someone doesn't like what you are saying they can (gasp!) click away! See! Click! No more offending page! Ah, life is good again. I dunno, I just don't think things have to be this fraught.

Blog on, sister. Ignore the trolls and do what you do. :-)

PS, I love, love, love the word snotklap and I am so using it today at work. I see many kids at the library who need a good snotklap. Parents, too.

[Andrea]

Poor Mel. I think your devoted Christianity probably has something to do with the fervor of the opposition. Like you say, our devotion has a negative connotation with the peoples whereas other religions devotees don't, and it makes us target for venom. It's the price we pay, no? I couldn't quote the chapter and verse, but it does say that will happen to us. Anyway, for the record: I think spanking is fine. I often want to smack other people's children (but I don't do it). I don't want a dog! I think dogs are fabulous, but I don't want one. Too much work. I think having an elective c-section is selfish and uninformed. I am a former WOHM now SAHM who thoroughly finds my new lifestyle boring. I envy high heels and adult conversation. But on lazy mornings, I'm glad I get to hang out in my PJ's. I am a devoted, we-are-right-and-no-one-else-is Christian (why anyone would half-believe anything is beyond me, either believe it or deny it, but don't be wishy-washy). But I do think lots of foul language on a blog is distasteful. I'm known to drop the occasional f-bomb or s-bird in real life, but I try not to have a trucker's mouth.

So what have we learned here - I've learned I should probably not blog!

[Wyliekat]

Basically, if you have an opinion, someone is going to go out of their way to disagree. Hopefully, they do so with integrity. Otherwise, well . . . they make excellent targets for the day's angst.

[Aurelia]

Goodness, I just may have broken every one of these rules. Multiple times in fact. Okay, now I'M going to say that I blog with balls! WEEEEEE!!

[Margaret]

If someone looked after one of your children and if they moaned about them and and insulted them on a public blog as you have done with your best friend's dog I'm sure you would be outraged and expect others to be so. Although animals don't rate as high in your estimate most people love their pets, I'm not surprised your friend won't be leaving her pet with you again.

[Jill]

Although I at times don't agree with you, I respect you as a mom/Christian/writer. You may put some stuff out there that draws criticism, but I don't feel manipulated. Some bloggers say stuff to get commenters all in a huff, but I think you are genuine in what you write, and that is why I am always here reading, even if I don't comment.

[Kelli]

Good post! Of course, I agree with each statement you've made! Dogs, kids, SAHM's, blogs and all. I live in the US and feel the same way. Although our cultures are shockingly different in many areas, it doesn't seem to matter where you live concerning people's views on certain matters. Oh well, right? We are all entitled to our own opinions, our own way of living. I could care less if people own a million dogs, never discipline their children or work as mothers all their life. Just so long as they don't care that I do things a little differently. :)

[becky]

this is my favorite thing I've read today.

[Lala]

I think your cultural perspective is refreshing, now as long as you don't start talking about helmets.....heh(Canadian sense of humour at work here)

[Sue at eLuckypacket]

You go Melanie Novitzkas!

[Andria]

lol... I love it!

[Genie]

Wonderful, wonderful post. Am adding you to my bloglines account asap. Darn...another wonderful, witty woman to keep up with on a daily(ish) basis...when will I work?

[Tertia]

OMG Margaret you are right! We'd totally forgotten that THE DOG MIGHT READ MEL'S BLOG!! I think we should take her outside and throw dog poop at her.

PS We are going away at the end of April. Will be sending Peter, Shelley, Bruno and Tequila to stay at your house. Please don't blog about them. They read your blog. Their feelings will be hurt.

[Jen]

Hey Mel
Welcome to the world of trolls ;) Hah. Just popped over from your G&D sis Tertia, to say HI and best wishes for your blogging. Don't get put off by everyone getting at you for what you write - it takes a while to settle in and someone will ALWAYS have a different opinion - even that red is green (or something ridiculous).

Re the elective C-section - you're welcome to email me privately about this. I haven't had one, but would opt for one next time. I've had both types of birth experience, and I'd be quite happy to tell you what and why I'd go for an elective next, even though it's totally against what I believe.

Happy Blogging!

[Jen]

ps
i'd never own a dog either... i have two cats, i like dogs but i couldn't eat a whole one..... ;)

[The Problem Lies Herein...]

I'm not trying to be a troll but unfortunately sometimes there IS a need for a c-section. The problem is that pro-natural birth people have scared/bullied some people so much against c-sections that CHILDREN are being hurt because of it. Because she believed every word her doula ever spoke, my sister-in-law refused to have a c-section during the birth of her first child... that child DIED for 15 minutes, is now 6 years old, only just learned to walk, still can't talk (even with those computer aided pictures or via signing) and will probably never EVER eat normal food. We will always love her but she has LOST TOO much because my SIL was convinced by her anti c-section doula that the doctor was "bullying" her into a c-section to make his life easier... By the time the doctor was legally allowed to give her an emergency c-section against her wishes (i.e., when my niece's heart stopped), she was too far into the birth canal and had to be delivered vaginally. That delay caused massive brain damage and cerebral palsy. My niece is a beautiful little girl who is never going to be able to do ANYTHING... even go to school. I wish that EVERY child in the world would be born via c-section if it would only just prevent ONE other child from having to live like this. You aren't going to change my mind either.

[Steph]

I love it! Here's to blogging with balls!

I am not a yet mom, but I understand how people pick on petty bullshit all the time, and it makes me crazy.

I found you through Snickollet's blog, btw...