Like a pancake

I feel flat today.  Its a combo of things that all contribute and I wish I could go away to recharge my batteries.

Adam was finally born last night.  We can see how His timing was perfect in all this, it took over 2 days before anything started.  It was a time for my friend to rest and come to terms with her loss and a chance to see a stream of visitors who love her family.  Once the labour started we prayed for a super short one and it only lasted 3 hours which was a relief.    They have a supernatural shalom peace about everything and I am once again reminded that life without Him, is just too hard to even comprehend.

Remember when I wrote about people in our church who lost their precious girl in a drowning accident on January 5th?    I think about them EVERY single day and her picture stays on my fridge.  Sometimes I want to take it off but I feel like that is forgetting her and I never want to do that.   Her parents travelled for 5 months but have been back for a month and I know they are taking such huge strain.   I wish I could hold them a while, give them some relief and take some of the grief away but I can't of course.   It is her 3rd birthday coming up on the 1st of August.   We are not sure what to do and how to handle the day.    I want to do something on her behalf and have been thinking of getting  a wish list from the animal welfare and getting people to buy things on behalf of Mia.   She loved animals.   I need to ask her parents if this is OK.    It is incomprehensible to have to deal with grief like that and once again, it is only Him that carries them everyday.

I know many of you are thinking why doesn't He just save these little people in the 1st place and avoid all the grief and sadness altogether.  I don't know, He is God and we have no idea why but we do know He doesn't leave us alone to deal with the sadness by ourselves.   Now I feel flat AND sad and good old PMS too so I am going to go now before I have all of you feeling the same way.

Gary leaves for the US today so I better go smooch a bit.    Actually maybe just a long, slow hug, not in the smooching mood.  Bye.

Comments

[Anna in IL]

I'm sorry that you are having a hard time emotionally. You face a lot more grief than some of us do, because of your involvement with BB. I hope that the joy it brings far outweighs the sadness.

On another note, Gary is coming to the US?! Did he leave room in his suitcase for donations? Let us know if there is time/room to send him something!

[angel]

oh mel... i wish i could take some of your sadness away!
big hugs girl. HUGE.

[Lisa]

Just thought I would pass on this touching story - I certainly believe that the loss of a child does help bring people together in love. May the thought of that love bring you some comfort. Lisa

The Brave Little Soul
By John Alessi

Not too long ago in Heaven there was a little soul who took wonder in observing the world. She especially enjoyed the love he saw there and often expressed this joy with God. One day however the little soul was sad, for on this day she saw suffering in the world. He approached God and sadly asked, "Why do bad things happen; why is there suffering in the world?"

God paused for a moment and replied, "Little soul, do not be sad, for the suffering you see, unlocks the love in people’s hearts." The little soul was confused. "What do you mean," he asked. God replied, "Have you not noticed the goodness and love that is the offspring of that suffering? Look at how people come together, drop their differences and show their love and compassion for those who suffer. All their other motivations disappear and they become motivated by love alone."

The little soul began to understand and listened attentively as God continued, "The suffering soul unlocks the love in people’s hearts much like the sun and the rain unlock the flower within the seed. I created everyone with endless love in their heart, but unfortunately most people keep it locked up and hardly share it with anyone. They are afraid to let their love shine freely, because they are afraid of being hurt. But a suffering soul unlocks that love. I tell you this - it is the greatest miracle of all. Many souls have bravely chosen to go into the world and suffer - to unlock this love ˆ to create this miracle - for the good of all humanity."

Just then the little soul got a wonderful idea and could hardly contain herself. With his wings fluttering, bouncing up and down, the little soul excitedly replied, "I am brave; let me go! I would like to go into the world and suffer so that I can unlock the goodness and love in people’s hearts! I want to create that miracle!"

God smiled and said, "You are a brave soul I know, and thus I will grant your request. But even though you are very brave you will not be able to do this alone. I have known since the beginning of time that you would ask for this and so I have carefully selected many souls to care for you on your journey. Those souls will help you create your miracle; however they will also share in your suffering. Two of these souls are most special and will care for you, help you and suffer along with you, far beyond the others. They have already chosen a name for you."

God and the brave little soul shared a smile, and then embraced. In parting, God said, "Do not forget little soul that I will be with you always. Although you have agreed to bear the pain, you will do so through my strength. And if the time should come when you feel that you have suffered enough, just say the word, think the thought, and you will be healed."

Thus at that moment the brave little soul was born into the world, and through her suffering and God’s strength, she unlocked the goodness and love in people’s hearts. For so many people dropped their differences and came together to show their love. Priorities became properly aligned. People gave from their hearts. Those that were always too busy found time. Many began new spiritual journeys, some regained lost faith, many came back to God. Parents hugged their children tighter. Friends and family grew closer. Old friends got together and new friendships were made. Distant family reunited, and every family spent more time together. Everyone prayed. Peace and love reigned. Lives changed forever. It was good. The world was a better place. The miracle had happened. God was pleased.

[Mel]

Thanks Lisa, that is an awesome little story.
True too. x

[Bianca W]

Mel - my cousin's son died at 12 days old, on the 30th December. We were all so shocked by his sudden passing, and the devistation was imense. I too question what that was all about, but unfortunately, my faith is not as strong as yours, and I just get cross. Really, really cross!

We also have some very close friends who's baby boy had to be born at 30 weeks (planned C-sec, due to decreasing amniotic fluid) and he fought and fought and fought for 9 weeks, and then passed away, leaving us all drained and devistated!

I just wanted to let you know, I know EXACTLY how you feel, when you say FLAT, like a pancake. I have those days too!

Hang in there, and your suggestion for the wish list from the SPCA sounds amazing. I am sure her parents would love that idea.

Lots of love
Bianca
PS. I know a few people have suggested it already, and I am only saying it beacus I have JUST started taking them, but why dont you try the Evening Primrose Oil. It is too soon for me to say if they are working for me or not, but I just cannot bear putting myself and my family through that dreaful "week of hell" every month.