Doula Mel

Waiting & stretching

So little Phoebe is still snug in her mom's belly making us wait impatiently.   It looks like April fools day for madame!    I have quit waiting around and went off surfing after a 2 week break.   I hurt my lower back 2 weeks ago and have been too busy to even have good blog moan.   I went off to Colleen's brilliant physio who almost killed me.  I was trying to practice my 'coping with pain techniques' that I do in labour and that I teach my expectant mothers.   Eventually I threatened to punch her if she continued to hurt me so badly.   Of my frikkin' crap it hurt!   Apart from physical pain, she added a good dose of emotional abuse and told me I am as flexible as a pensioner.   Great, an old lady, I am an OLD lady.
The good news is that the injury has exposed this and I can do something about it.  I have bought 2 pilates DVDs and Gary and I are going to try and do them 2 or 3 times a week.  I have never done pilates so we will go to a proper instructor for a once off class.   (She sent me a text reminding me to do my stretching, scary lady!)
My surf this morning was better than I anticipated.   I wore my new bikini bottoms bought on the Woolies sale for 27 ront!   From R85!   Woolies size 12 bikini bottoms are the most perfect fit for my butt, very comfy.   The only spoke in the wheel/sticker in the broeks, was me forgetting to remove that plastic sticker thingy that covers the fan section.   When that sticker gets wet, it is very sticky.   I won't go into too much detail but removing the pants was a bit like removing a very sticky plaster that was stuck on a guy's hairy leg.   Ouch!
My surf instructor Mikhail is one hot surfer and surfs competitively.    He puts up with my extreme impatience and my occasional lack of obeying instructions.  Most of the time I can't hear what he is saying as I am spluttering and coughing and recovering from being dumped.    His surfing vid is featured here and if he gets the most hits, he wins a R1000.   Pls click onto his vid clip so he can win, it's his 25th birthday on the 4th and I reckon a thousand bucks would be a cool prezzie.  (10 sleeps till mine but that requires a whole post all on its own, LOVE my b'day!)

Hoping to meet Phoebe Holly very soon

Today or tonight might just be the very 1st time Doula Mel gets to see a little girl come into the world that isn't my own daughter.   I have done many births, all boys though.   We think its pre-labour and she was due on Saturday so holding thumbs here!   Please keep her mom Bronwyn in your prayers.  Phoebe is her 4th child, she has had 2 cesareans, 1 VB in between and now we are trusting for another natural or VBAC, as it is known.   SO exciting to share in someone's birth and when it is someone who is special to me, it is even more awesome.  
If I don't post tomorrow, then you know why.  Thanks for all the cool messages and encouragement re Saturday's ladies day.     For those who were there, please mail me your pics so I can put them on our soon to be functional website. 
Here are a few more taken by Tracey.   (Top LHS, our fab table, Top RHS my surfing chicks Claudia & Karen, bottom LHS Tracey and Kat from Mad hair & floral wear table and bottom RHS me modeling my dress.)

A super successful girly day

Fabulous ladies, just oh so fab!   The morning saw a bunch of girls setting up their tables with each table more gorgeous than the next.    The effort everyone went to was incredible and some girls are so gifted when it comes to all this girly-pretty stuff.   I am not so great at the finer details... little name cards, ribbons, every thing matching and exquisite.  I can organize, I can delegate and I can do the big stuff but those tables, they were beyond me and knocked my socks off!  
So themes were bling, pretty in pink, (they won, pic on the LHS) English rose, vintage lace, wedding, black & white, funky hair & floral wear, carnival, (my personal fave) Easter, it's a baby boy, polka dots, mad hatters tea party and Hawaii.  My chicks were at the Hawaii party table and a very festive bunch.  We were too many and most of them were from one group so BF Jen and her mum had to sit elsewhere.   We landed up not being 10 so I was a little bummed we couldn't have Jen & Annatjie at our table after all.    Love that BF!
Our table came second but that is because Tracey decorated and catered and it really looked stunning. (Tracey is lady with the yellow lei in pic on RHS)   I was way too nervous to eat so did my usual champagne and rescue combo and the public speaking was a breeze!   
The fashion show was divine, the models all gorg, the weather perfect, the speakers great, music funky and everyone just loved the whole morning.   I am not sure of how much we raised as I need to calculate what we spent and get last monies in but I think it is around R8000.   For the amount of stress and effort, the return isn't that great but I think public awareness and the spin-offs that come from such a day, have a long term return.
 

We ended the day with a group of sentimental ladies all getting into their wedding dresses and remembering that amazing day way back when we were beautiful brides standing next to handsome grooms.  Every bride had to describe her proposal and one quality she loved most about her husband.  We gave 2 prizes for the most romantic proposals and it was a great ending to a great day.   (brides from LHS, Me 1 Feb 2003, Nadine 6 Dec 2008, Philippa 14 June 1997, Corinne 21 April 2007, Lucy 23 Sep 2006, Michelle 4 Dec 1999, Audrey 10 Oct 1994, Elize 4 July 1998, Liz 3 April 2004, Erna 26 Dec 1998 and Niki 6 Jan 2007)

Tomorrow is the big day

Oh my frikkin' goodness but I am pooping in my pants for tomorrow!   140 ladies which means... tables, chairs, cloths (blimmin' 40 bucks to hire 1 table cloth!) the ramp, the music and sound guy, the models, designers, the marquee, the hostesses, the portaloo (needed additional toilets) the guest speakers, my own speech, my thank you's, info packs for tables, little individual gifts, tables for the people selling stuff, parking and.... whatever else I have forgotten.   I obviously have a team of people helping me but it is still like organizing a  wedding and fashion show all together and doing it on a shoestring budget.  
Gotta go, only 18 hours till showtime which include the 8 hours that I will need to be sleeping.  (am an 8 hour girl)    Sunday will be picture posting day and tales of the fabulous success of the day and all the moola we made for BB!

Apologies for Daniel's mom

I get a text from the school mom saying PLEASE reply to the form sent out on the 18th of March concerning the games day.  Huh?  What form.   I offer to man the stall for an hour and apologize once again.  He has been pretty on the ball this year and is really trying.  He is very keen to get into this fab high school we are gunning for in grade 8 and has really owned the whole process.
Mornings have been cool lately, he gets dressed by himself, makes his breakfast and is ready to go before Rebeka-nerdy-pants.   I stopped giving him school lunch a while ago as he never eats it.  It is a really horrible side effect of Ritalin, the appetite loss.   Fortunately is wears off by about 3.00 so he has a normal lunch and big dinner as well as a catch up on weekends when he doesn't take the meds at all.  
Any how, this morning I have a scratch around for those forms and I find all sorts of interesting things.   Forms for the games day, the notices, an old apple, a packet of squashed crackers and a form informing parents about the ADHD meeting which was LAST week.  Pretty funny.... giving them these forms and expecting them to remember to give it to Mom.
He told me all his brain power is going for school stuff and for getting girls' numbers (he wishes!) so forms and remembering to eat don't feature.
I love that boy!

PMS

Pissy moany sulky
Pretty manic suicidal
Probably murder someone
Possibly Mel's sulky
Potentially morbid subject
Pathetic miserable slag
People must stayaway
Pukey miff slimeball
Pimply mugg syndrome
Please make scarce
Popcorn maltesers sweets  (Lindt counts as sweets)

And that is all I feel like making up.   I see my mom's gynae on the 18th of May.  She made the appointment for me, what does that mean?   Blech!

And the most annoying animated character goes to....

When you have small children you get subjected to hours of TV with some seriously irritating characters.  You learn all the songs that remain stuck in your head long after they have gone to sleep.  I know the very best parents have no TV at all and the '2nd best in the world parents' only have TV at weekends.   I do kind of admire this and believe kids don't even miss it, they play, they do crafts and husbands and wives have better sex lives as they have nothing else to do in the evenings.   In my family, no TV is not an option.   Gary watches hours of sport and the poker channel.   The kids all watch TV in the mornings while getting dressed and eating breakfast.  Me, I don't watch too much but I do have my fave shows like Grey's, DSM, Army Wives, Desperate Housewives, Prison Break, Survivor and Brothers & Sisters.   I suppose I could watch all of these on DVD so given the choice, I might just turf the TV.  Actually no, I don't want to do crafts with the kids EVERY day and entertain them, sometimes putting a movie on for them so I can hide away is a great necessity.  

But back to who is who in the annoying character zoo.    Barney, he is OK.  I have been subjected to the big purple guy for many years and his possy of super-behaved nerdy kids.   Daniel had 3 discs he watched over and over again, Rebeka followed and then at age 2, Sofia decided Barney was part of her afternoon nap routine.    The recipe was as follows:  1 blankie, 1 bottie of teddy milk, 1 pillow, 1 couch and the Zoo Barney episode.  Every day.  While he is clearly irritating, he does teach children some good values and behaviours.    We have the British TV channel 306 here too and it is the only one I can leave on and know everything is kosher.  No violent or scary or evil characters like some in cartoon network.   Actually Miss Hooley on Balamory can be a bit scary with her green outfit and odd facial expressions.   So we have Charlie and Lola who I love, Balamory is OK, Hi-5 on K-TV not too bad (Gary likes the Thai girl of course) and many others which are fairly bearable.   Mickey Mouse speaks like his balls are being squeezed or his voice is breaking.   Teletubbies... they are pretty bad!  (2nd worse!)  I find it fascinating that the producers can know and cater to 18 month old toddlers though.  They all seem to love it and long suffering parents are subjected to their nails on blackboard voices.   So my award would have to go the The Tweenies.  Now I have nothing against the Brits and 2 siblings even married them, but those British accents in Tweenies, argh, have to turn it off immediately!   You dudes?    Which little critter has you throwing your shoe at the TV?

My travel bug is re-emerging

I used to love traveling.  I have been very fortunate to have visited a number of places and intend visiting a whole lot more.   I wish I had traveled more before I had kids and I can kick myself for wasting much of my traveling being home sick and longing for home.  Many trips were cut short due me being a big baby and wanting my family.   Modeling overseas is a very lonely and hard existence.   Sure you get to go all over and see cool locations and exotic places.  You also get to work with very hot local chaps who live there and speak in sexy foreign accents.   Some of these chaps are even straight!  BUT, you spend the whole day using public transport going from 1 casting to another.   You get rejected a good 75% of the time, you eat lots of crap because you miss home and you inevitably share a shitty small over priced apartment with another model.   Mmmh, now I remember why I cut my trips short. 

After modeling I continued to travel loads and did all sorts of menial jobs that didn't requite work permits.   I have done Greece, Paris, Milan, Madrid, Amsterdam, Hamburg, Brazil, San Francisco, Miami, Key West, New Orleans, Hawaii, Mauritius, Mozambique, London and then short visits to other places like Austria and Belgium on route.  I love being somewhere different, the excitement, being anonymous, the food, the people, architecture, parks...oh its just super awesome.   I know I was extremely lucky to have seen these places and we are super stoked to have Gary's work offer these amazing incentive trips.   The poor guy works like a dog and comes home at crazy hours.   Much of the time I resent the constant calls, the meetings and the fact that he is available 24/7 because of the time difference between California and SA.  I call his blackberry the blackbitch and have often threatened to throw it in the pool or out the nearest window.

Next month on the 23rd of April we get on a plane and jet off to St Martin in the Caribbean.   We fly to JHB, then London, then Miami.   We will spend 1 night in Miami sleeping the jet lag away, 2 nights in Key West (I lived there for 2 months so love the place) and then back to Miami for another night.  The next day we fly to St Martin where we have 5 nights is a super duper luxurious 5 star hotel.  Yay hey!   The trip home is grueling again but at least not as far as leaving Hawaii last year.   I am getting excited now but still have the massive stress of organizing the kids each day.  Leaving to go overseas is way more stressful when you have young kids.   Not going there right now, leaving the kids makes me tearful which seriously messes with my current whoohoo-ness so for now, I am thinking shopping, yum Cuban food, palm fronds and cocktails and lots of dot dot dot with my husband.  

The non baby shower lunch report back

So all went well on Saturday.   All the ladies arrived, 4 were from Nurture so technically work colleagues but BFs as well, T's mom-in-law Jannie, our lovely Mom with her lovely neighbour Tania, friend Bee and friend Martha.   Lots of wine was drunk by the non pregnant guests and lots of food eaten by all the guests.  BF Sue aka know as Brie (Like in Brie from Desperate Housewives) brought these delicious Lindt chocolate cupcakes that were totally orgasm1c.   Ha... did you notice I used a 1 instead of an i?    Sister T says that's how you ensure those porno chasing chaps don't stumble on your blog.   I probably sound a little paranoid about those chaps but the thought of some sex freak dude looking at pictures of my family really grosses me out, eeeuw!
We were very well behaved with not a single blue corny party item in sight but we did insist she open her gifts.   Our Maxie boy is very kitted with loads of comfy non-fussy babygros.   Thanks to all her lovely friends who came and blessed her.  Pic of those fabulous boobies belongs to her BF and partner Mellie btw.  We always get along with each others friends which is kind of weird as we are pretty different.  I think its because we have the same sense of humour and we are both gorg and divine, especially me.  

My anxiety rollercoaster ride begins again

I am sure much of my anxiety is hormonal.  Some hereditary, some my sensitive make-up but loads of it my pesky hormones.    I have 2-3 good calm weeks and 2 where my heart goes boom-boom-boom extra fast at the slightest stimulus.  I have also discovered that the few days leading up to my mom's chemo makes me extra anxious.  Only 2 to go thank God.  And God, please let this be it.  I know you will use this experience, you have already.   I know your plan is perfect and all that but really, can this be the 2nd last one and then no more.  Ever.   All C obliterated so my mom can get on with being her fab Mimi self.

Yesterday Karen and I had a rough hospital visit and I have some images and thoughts running around in my head that I can't seem to let go.   The irony is that the hospital where we visit is smack bang in the middle of an affluent area in Somerset West.   Across the road is a very exclusive private school with exclusive wealthy parents who drive past this hospital every single day.  Anyway, let me not go there today.    So we have our normal bunch of moms all chuffed to receive their bags and then we have:
A lady from Grabouw with baby number 7 who looks old before her time.  Her 6 year old was meant to start school this year but he couldn't get into the over-crowded local school so for this year, he stays home.    On a bench down the hall...an HIV-positive mom waiting for the results from the blood test of her baby to determine his status.   At least I had bottles for her but still, what about her?    How long will she stay well living in a shack with inadequate nutrition and education.    Another mom with a full term very quite baby in ICU.   His birth was rough, the oxygen too little so for now, he lies there and cannot cry and suck.   We have seen miracles happen in these babies so we asked to go into the nursery so I could put my hand in the incubator and hold his little leg and implore with God to intervene here.   PleasePleasePleasePlease.    I want to say WhyWhyWhyWhy but what is the point, we just don't know.   Next to him was a tiny little prem girl lying like a little frog, the nurse was trying to stimulate her to test for movement.  Her arms and legs were discoloured and her eyelids swollen.   Nothing, she tests for a pulse, really nothing.   Her brother lay close by, unaware, fighting for his little life.   The nurse went off to tell the mom and we went back to the car to get the sympathy bag.  When we got back she was holding her tiny girl and crying.   We have seen so many twin moms, even trip moms who have to grieve and mother their other little one at the same time.  They are too scared to bond with the other surviving one, too sad to enjoy them and in a weird limbo place.   We prayed with her and I am really praying for her boy.  He is a kilo at least, 1000 grams, she was a little scrawny bird.   I want the image of her out of my head, the 1st time I have seen a dead person.   I want to put blinkers on and pretend none of this is happening on my doorstep.  I love my country.  I hate my country.