Doula Mel

Greetings from da island mon.

Hey fellas, I am finally here in St Martin and have found a lovely computer.   Everytime I see something or have some epiphany of life in the US I think.... blog fodder and then I have to tuck it away for a later day.   The flight over was awesome because Gary did his thing and we got upgraded to 1st class for both legs.   I feel all shy and awkward when I fly 1st, like I am this impostor and they know.  Gary is all slick and quite comfortable being fawned over.  I do love the Virgin sleepsuit and all the free stuff of course.   I have to force myself to leave the stuff on the plane like the free toothpaste and fancy complimentary stuff they put in those packs.   But enough about the flight, so far so great.   Our 1st night was very low key as we decided to stay in the airport Miami Hilton to recover from the trip.  The next morning we hired a car and drove down to Key West.  FOUR blimmin' hours later we arrived!  Had I known it was so far we would have skipped it.   We were both irritated and it was my idea so I had to fess up.  After traveling for a gazillion hours the last thing we wanted to do was drive another 4.   I love the Keys and spent a couple of months down there way back when I was young and gorg.   I worked at a store, sold roses to drunken men in bars and sold glowey sticks on New Years Eve.   I think I was about 22 at the time?    This time Duval street was way more fun in the day, the night was filled with very drunk loud people.  When I see these young girls pissed out of their skull I am so glad I have little girls still and I really trust my daughters won't be fall-down-drunk walking down a party road one day.    

The next day we went back to Miami and had 2 fun days there.  The weather was a bit crap but at least it meant I could spend hours at a mall and have no 'I should be at the beach' guilt!!!     I know spending hours at a mall seems like a waste and not like me but shopping in another country is ALWAYS fun.    And now, I am here and have 5 days on the island.   I have been pretty good with not missing my kids too much but tonight I feel a real pang for my babies.   My mom and Michelle have stepped in and are doing a fabulous job so they are all OK.   SA seems very far away right now but I know how quickly this time will go by and in just a week, I am home already.   Chat soon, Margarita to drink, husband to smooch, must dash. xxx 

Sporadic blogging to follow

So the shopping is done, BB is handed over and the kids have 5 trillion bags packed and labeled for various sleepovers.  My nerves are shot and I am so wired I could definitely power a small country with all this energy I am carrying.   I often wonder how I would react if someone would physically attack me when I am in the state, I think I would kick their arse SO badly.  Wanna piece of me?  Wanna?  
Phew, I am now going to pack my bag and put my comfiest broeks and bra on so I can be chilled on the plane.  Gary always looks trendy when he flies, me, not so much.
Thanks for all the bon voyages and assurances that my critters will be fine.  Rebeka is great at making herself cry so did the whole dramatic weeping and wailing last night.   Poor chicken!   They have T-shirts of mom & dad under their pillows to smell and cuddle while we are away.   I wear Lady Mitchum can-even-skip-a-day so not too stinky!    I also have Mish to phone Rebeka at night to pray with her over the phone, I think that is all areas covered.   Mom has left the building, goodbye. 

I need to get on that darn plane now!

Oh my goodness but it is stressful planning childcare for 3 kids with different care givers for 12 days.  Last time I had one couple staying here but this time, I have a few amazing people who have stepped up to the plate to take care of the kids while we are away.  Oh thanks to all of you wonderful people!   The daily schedules are insane... drummies, soccer, netball, hockey, rugby, computer club, horse riding, ballet & swimming.   All these activities need someone to drop off and collect again.   It's school clothes and hockey sticks and my pediatrician's phone number (oh pls don't let it be needed!!!) and all the stuff that make up my kids' life.  
It's worrying about them missing me or being sad or being forgotten somewhere.   It's worrying about them behaving, especially spunky Fifi who calls everyone a Rudie-pants if they are not marching to her tune.    About wiping their bum after a dodgy poo... they would be too shy to ask.  What if they are hungry and don't like the food and pretend they are not hungry?   I need a chill pill... where is that ol' xanor languishing in the medicine chest!?
I haven't even thought about packing and I leave tomorrow afternoon.  I need to do a grocery shop to stock up the house, do a BB handover and then I get to the fun bit... packing my suitcase taking far too much stuff that won't be worn but I want to take 'just in case.'     Tell me they will be fine, that they will hardly miss us, that we will have a brilliant time.  Don't tell me YOU would never leave YOUR kids, makes me feel too guilty.  (Yip, I do get that, grrrr!)  I know it will be amazing, you should see the hotel we are staying at in Key West and in St Martin!   I know I will come back tanned and loved up but I also know, next trip I take my kids with me.  Leaving them is just too stressful!

Mommy & Me Membership officially expired

So today I go to a girlfriend's birthday party. She is 29 years old with a very handsome little chap called Samuel who I had the privilege of seeing enter the world about 7 months ago. The room was FULL of babies all under 2 years old, most of them under a year old. Most of the moms are from my church and all SAHMs.   I felt both a little out and a lot relieved all at the same time.  I am just not in that place anymore... that intense mommy place where your entire world revolves around your baby, the memories of your birth, your milky boobs, your recovering V-jay-jay, his poop, her puke, weight gain for baby, weight loss for you, cute little outfits, milestones, the secret knowing YOUR baby is the most beautiful and cleverest of all.   I think its wonderful and clever how nature/God floods moms with these hormones where the world becomes filled with all things baby.  I was once there myself and I reveled in it, reading baby mags, smelling and kissing and playing with my baby, taking him out for proud walks, coffee dates with other young moms.  Now, I am just not there anymore and just so happy to be in this new place.    I hope I get my tone right here, I am not feeling condescending, I remain slightly nostalgic with fond memories of that mommy-dulgent time but I am happy to be done.   On Sunday I read an entire 300 and something page novel, it was divine!  New seasons, new times, new focus.  

PS, I loved the posts going around "5 Reasons why I love being a mother" and I will respond to my tag and do sometime, maybe when I am sitting at Heathrow for 12 hours thinking about how I miss them and can't wait to see them!

Marley & us?

So a few months ago Gary and I mention the D word.... you know D O G.   My kids adore dogs, especially Sofia.  I do not.  BUT, having a family is all about compromise right?    Me against Gary and the 3 of them and their dream hound.   It's not that I don't love animals or think dogs don't have a certain cuteness factor.  I can understand how other people love their animals to bits.   It's just, me and dogs, not so much.   (I once listed why and started some pretty crazy blog wars so won't go there again!!!)
Anyhoo, we start talking about a possible dog for the kids.  We then go and see 'Marley and me' and I have some serious 2nd thoughts along with some tears at the very sad ending.   Then I yo-yo again as my friend Michelle gets the most gorg cocker spaniel black doggie called Spencer that she rescued from the Animal Welfare.   Today I snuck off to have a look at all the dogs at the welfare, it's pretty sad to see so many unwanted animals.    With such extreme poverty in SA you can only imagine how township animals fare here.  So now my heart has been softened to get a rescue dog but Gary says that is taking a risk and wants a registered pedigree dog.   Surely the dogs personality could be poor for a pedigreed dog and great for a 'brak' or vice versa?  I know nothing about dogs other than they chew stuff and bark alot.   What do we do, how do we choose the right dog for my family?.  I promise I will quite kind of love it and feed it and walk it and take good care of it.  I promise I won't let it lick my face, sleep on my bed, chew my shoes or destroy my garden.  So we need a dog that:   will be great with kids, won't bark incessantly, won't destroy everything Marley fashion, be pretty cute.   I am thinking a young dog but NOT a puppy.   Do I have to get 2 then?  How does it work?  Am I mad?   Oh its such a big decision to make, help!!!

PS, I just read that old post from March last year, I was going to link to it but don't feel like that drama again!   Woof-woof!

Quick dash to the post office

So once again I am leaving this to the last minute but we have a mission team from Dallas coming out the end of the month who have offered to bring some donations over for us.   He needs it by the 27th so I am only giving my BF kind gals a week but I know you US ladies have a really efficient postal system.
Thanks to my coupon queen Bridget Taylor who is buying us a ton of toothpaste and toothbrushes to send over with Matt and his team.  The nursing staff have specifically asked for soap & washcloths as well as deo and I am also asking, as I always do, for our fave onesies & sleepers you send us.  I still haven't had to buy a single onesie/vest in a good 2 years due to all the US donors, pretty awesome hey!
You can send to

Trinity

Church c/o Matt

Attn: Frontline

4300 Cole Ave

Dallas TX 75205

Thanks also to Dayna Gerak who sent us a parcel via Gavin Steingo of onesies and sweet little wash cloths we call 'lappies' in SA.   I have 4 sleeps till my US/St Martin trip, pooping in my pants a bit!   Thank God Phoebe was born at 3.05am this morning.  The birth was very traumatic but I will tell you tomorrow as I know many of you are suckers for birth stories.  Keep her mom Bronwyn in your prayers pls.

Baby shopping, love it!

As you know I am Careful Cathy with my pennies.  Running a charity and dealing with financial contributions is a big responsibility.   People are often suspicious and many have been burned by unscrupulous organizations that do not channel the money where they have promised it to go.  I receive loads of mails and offers of fund raising schemes where I don't have to do anything and they promise me thousands or even millions.  My question is always:  How much of the money that people donate actually reaches BB?    I love the fact that we have managed 3 great years with no gray funding needs.... no admin, no staff costs, no phone or anything other than our moms and babies.  Obviously this changed when we moved in February but still, most of the money will always reach our moms & babies.
These schemes take a huge cut and I will rather work my butt off for 10% of the money than have people's hard earned money get ripped off by these companies. 
But back to my shopping.... today I got to buy a whole load of BB goodies I needed.   Nappy liners and waterproof pants/pilchers, babygros/sleepers, cotton and tons of great denim fabric that they gave me for half price.    A curtain company had cut thousands of curtains and the bottom piece is the perfect size to make our bags so Tuli is stoked and will be making tons of gorg bags.  She is working out so well and is clever and willing and wants to learn as much as possible.   In fact we are busy negotiating with a very successful trendy baby decor shop who want to help out.   They are willing to train Tuli and some other ladies to make goods for their store and buy it from us.   They supply all the materials and we get to earn some money while giving people skills and a means of an income.  Exciting hey!  
God has been so faithful and really does give us more and more as we prove our trustworthiness with what He gives out.   Running BB is such a faith rush and seeing Him in action gives me my daily dose of goosebumps.  I love thinking... and now God, what are we going to do here?   Where are we going to get this need filled and by whom?    Shopping today was made possible by unexpected cash that came in.  I believe it is because we tithed on the ladies day money and He has literally timed that amount by 4.   Thanks to Patricia from SABC, Lindy and her reiki ladies from Healing Matters, our donor from Greater Good Organization, ATS Transport and the Catholic Women's League.   I am so grateful and honoured and do not take your trust in us lightly. xxx 

Our fabulous Tuli sewing on our fabulous machines donated by The Round Table

Still here

In short...
Phoebe STILL not born, we hope for this weekend as she needs to come out soon
My mom is kakking off, I hate it that she is suffering so
BB going great guns, plenty to tell you all
Had a 2nd surf on Zara, way harder than Olivia and much less fun
Almost finished sorting out the kids schedules for while I am away
In a weeks time I am on an airplane flying to Miami via London
I ate a Reeses peanut-butter egg that kind Dawnielle sent me from the US (along with some baby clothes) and I am now far less teary
Proper post when I have time
Nighty-night. xxx

Teary good & bad

I started the day with bad tears... I have a friend who I am going to need to step away from for a while.   Enough said.   Then I watched this and got a great dose of good tears.  We are never too old to attain our dreams if we believe in ourselves and have the courage to take a chance.  I know this sounds like a corny bumper sticker but it is true.   I will chat tomorrow rather.   I leave next week and the stress of organizing my kids for the 13 days of me being away, worrying about them and thinking about missing them, well it is just too much.  Sniff!

Last chemo EVER!

Today is my mom's last session.  Thank God, please God!    It has been brutal, debilitating, over whelming and at times, almost got my feisty ol' mama.  Naturally she summons up her inner strength and slowly crawls back to her feet before we have to have the next one.   I had thought all people got nauseous but this is not so. Reactions are very individual and patients are given loads of anti-nausea tabs.  She has unfortunately suffered the deep bone ache, particularly in her hands and lower back.    She also gets so weak she cannot even lift a cup of tea.  It is horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE!

We are very fortunate for the early detection and the relatively short chemo treatment of 6 sessions done every 3 weeks.  Now it needs to be done though so pray with me and trust with me that all traces of C are long gone and never to return.   EVER!!!   It is the tough times that reveal our character and integrity and my mom never complains or feels self pity.  She intends becoming a cancer buddy as soon as she is well enough.  They are people who do the practical help for those undergoing chemo like shopping or cooking or doing laundry.    We have all said we truly wonder how young women with small children undergo something like this, or those with no help.    My dad also gets kudos for being her handsome prince and stepping up to the plate.   I sickness and in health they said and they do it well.   Not only is the chap doing the housey stuff, but he is loving her and still thinks she is a babe.   In the past us 4 kids have sometimes complained about them putting each other before us bratty lot but it is right and something I need to learn.   My mom always said your kids leave home and your husband stays so make sure he comes first in your life and keep your marriage healthy.   When I was 16 I knew EVERYTHING and they knew nothing but perhaps it is not so.  Perhaps quite a lot methinks.