I got a bottle of Moet en Chandon champagne for my birthday in April. I love champers, delicious, puts me in a good mood, no hangover, no 'dronk verdriet' (crying or getting all weepy) and just my fave alkie drink. I have been saving it for a special occasion and I have decided that the day my dad comes home and gets to be in his own bed with his own wife and his own dog, is the day I pop that cork and drink those bubbles. I put it in the fridge today as we are hoping for Tuesday or Wednesday. Being a light weight and unable to drink more than 2 glasses, means sharing with my siblings who will celebrate the day with me.
I can't write about my dad and how I feel about it, it is too intense, private and painful. This weekend has been the longest ever. I always say God uses tragedy and sorrow and I see the good side of this whole painful experience. The closeness I feel with my sisters, my brother and my parents. The tenderness I have for my dad. The appreciation of each other and the chance of being able to tell each other we love each other. Only my siblings know how I feel, we all feel the same way.
And God, feeling His presence, His comfort, His compassion. Getting words from people for my father, having people pray for him, its everything. When my heart is broken like this I feel so much compassion for other people. My spirit is sensitive and I see and feel people's pain around me. Thank God it is not everyone, just a face here and there and such a strong sense of their pain.
I told you in my last post about God telling me his grip on my father was super tight and He wouldn't let him fall. I got further confirmation when I got a text saying they were not sure why, but God had given them that childish little song 'He's got the whole world in His hands' over and over again for Pops. Family, I know I don't talk about Lordy stuff with you guys, I am shy about it and also don't want to bible bash or invade your space. I also know you all believe in varying degrees so know this, God has Dad covered. We are not alone in this and even when things look hard or impossible in the natural, God operates in the super natural and is all powerful and loves him even more than we do.