Reflections before my tenth birthday

On Saturday the 14th of November, I have been a Christian for 10 years.  It is also my mother's 61st birthday so I am feeling rather whimsical and reflecting back to the past 10 years of my spiritual walk.  I have blogged about my salvation experience before so not going to rehash here.  Maybe I will dig in my archives and find the link and post on that day as people often seem interested as to how people took that literal leap of faith.

I was obviously seeking in the time prior to accepting Christ.   The birth of Daniel was definitely a catalyst as that brief glimpse of God left me hankering after more of Him.   Life happened, I got very hurt and cross and defensive and it was only 3 years later that I found Him again.  I find it interesting that I find myself in a similar place 10 years later of seeking and growing.   In the beginning of my walk I often took other's opinions and interpretations of the word and Him as absolute truth thinking I was too immature to know any better.   As I grow up I get to know Him personally and not just what and who others say He is.  This makes it difficult for some of the people who walk with me and I am sure I can be a real thorn in their side.  I question myself if I am being rebellious or being the opposite extreme of religious.  Maybe a bit.   I submit myself 100% to God easily, I know He is in control anyway and going with the flow is far less exhausting.   Submitting to others, not easy for me.  One day when I stand before Him those people will not be next to me, just Him and I and I will have to give an account for my life.  Maybe He will tell me I was pretty stubborn and the people He put in my path were put there for a reason.  Who knows, at least He will know it was Him and only Him who I wanted and wanted to please.  I see people suck up so badly doing and saying things to look 'holy' in front of the pastors or elders or whatever leaders you need to follow.  It's not sincere and as complex and over sensitive and full of sh*t as I am, I am not insincere.  

I still want to chat about my fave book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.  My mom read it and said it was like reading who I am so its no wonder I related to the book so much.  I want to keep it simple, I don't want to argue about the evils of Halloween or who and what is right and all the other bullsh*t that distracts us from what matters.  I just want to dance my dance with my creator and be loved by Him and love others back.  I want to eat, pray, love too.  Because I have Christ, I don't have to go anywhere or do anything to be on the palm of God's hand.  I have Jesus who extends his hand and helps me up to be in that place of safety and love and affirmation that I find in God's presence.   I wish I could stay there and not deal with all the ugliness that we ironically do in His very name.  50 or 60 years time till that happens, I hope!

Comments

[Tiah]

Beautifully written.

[tess]

a lovely post mellie.
you're fighting the good fight. don't ever forget He's proud of you.

[Bev]

Do you know that they are busy making the book into a movie? Julia Roberts is the lead role.
Thought you'd find this link interesting:

http://www.elizabethgilbert.com/faq.htm

[Angel]

Its a wonderful post Mel, and I find your faith inspiring. I am not nearly as faithful or as trusting... And I think its wonderful you know the actual date!

[Vicki in NC]

Happy re-Birthday, sista!

[Mother Africa]

"...It is also my mother's 61st birthday..."
continue praying and don't forget to say happy Birthday to Mommy!