Look at this gorgeous mother. She is Somalian and in labour with her EIGHTH baby. I met her last week on a BB visit when I took Daniel's BF Prisca with me. When I asked her if it was her last baby, she said she didn't know as her religion prohibited birth control. We also had 2 teenagers, loads of young mothers and a very needy looking mother having her 6th baby.
It was great to have Prisca with me, it reminded me of when I had the youth Saturday going and we would take a small group of teenage girls with an adult volunteer. It was aways such an eye opener for those young sheltered girls and a brilliant re-inforcer of chastity and birth control.
We also had a mother who was told her 25 weeker was dead but who then started breathing again after a few minutes. They had her on a vent and we encouraged her and her husband to spend some time with her. When I prayed for this little girl she gripped my finger with her tiny hand and looked at me. I so hoped it was a sign of a miracle and she would make it but she died later that day. Frances has done a great job in getting BBS established and running. Its our Babies Born Sleeping group that has a trained group of volunteers to go and spend time with a mother who has had a stillbirth. Babies are photographed and their footprints taken and given to the mother or stored in case she later wants the pictures. They are prayed for and given a blanket for the baby. They had been wrapped in plastic linen savers before so its a great improvement.
Its awesome to be able to still go on visits to see my gorgeous babies and especially precious mothers. What is tough is the crazy irony of my job dealing with so many infertiles in desperate need of a surrogate and then giving out bags to mothers who have more children than they can afford. My couples would give the world for just one baby, they have the money and homes and capacity and many of the BB mothers live in a shack with no partner or work or money and too many kids. Life just doesn't make much sense with this regard???
Thanks for your enquiry. Before we proceed, I would like to give you some information about surrogacy in South Africa.
For the past 2 years Nurture (www.nurture.co.za) has run a very successful surrogacy agency that has seen many beautiful families made through the very special gift that is surrogacy. Before Nurture Surrogacy opened its doors, the waiting list for a surrogate was around 2 years. We got that waiting time down to +- 6 months. We have so many ‘happily ever afters’.
However, on the 1st of April 2010 the Children’s Act came into effect which had a far reaching impact on surrogacy in South Africa. As a result of the new law, the surrogacy process is now formalized within the law with the rights of the commissioning parents, the surrogate mother and the child firmly entrenched in law. The new law has many positive consequences for all involved. However, the one big limitation the new law has placed on the process is that surrogacy agencies are no longer permitted to charge a fee to source surrogate mothers. This has had a significant impact in the availability of surrogate mothers in South Africa and most intended parents are left to find a surrogate mother themselves – something that is extremely difficult to do.
Because we couldn’t just leave our future parents in the lurch, and because we know, on a personal level what it is like to really long for a child and not be able to conceive easily, we have decided to continue the good work we do through a non-profit organization. And so the Surrogacy Advisory Group was created.
What does this mean for you? What this means is that we will try and help you find a surrogate mother. We aren’t allowed to charge you for this, so we do it for love. But because we have to keep our day jobs in order to keep a roof over our heads, this is a process that takes time. We hope to get back to the place we were when the waiting period for a surrogate mother was less than 6 months but it is going to take time.
If you would like to go on a waiting list for a surrogate, then please complete the attached form. If possible, answers need to be typed as your profile will be edited for the surrogate at a later stage. As soon as we find a surrogate mother for you, we will refer you to a fertility clinic of your choice. Should you find your own surrogate, the waiting time will obviously diminish considerably. We are happy to screen your surrogate and have her apply to us directly so that we can do all the paper work and ensure she is legally, physically and psychologically eligible. This is part of the free service that we offer.
As you might know, our core focus is egg donation and we have plenty of egg donors available. But because finding the surrogate mother takes time, we need to do that first. As soon as you have approved the surrogate mother and she approves you, we can talk about choosing an egg donor should you need one. Since SAG is a pro-bono service that is funded by Nurture Egg Donor Program (www.nurture.co.za) , you will need to choose and pay for a donor prior to meeting with the surrogate. Once that is done, the exciting process starts.
One step at a time though, the first step is completing the application form.
Good luck, we will stay in touch,
Melanie
